One of my big goals is to lose weight. A lot of weight. More than I've ever needed to lose before, in fact. At my heaviest (less than two months ago) I had gained about 20 pounds since we moved to Washington and weighed MORE than I weighed the day before I gave birth to my youngest (who is 17 months old now). I still weigh more than I did when I gave to birth to each of my older girls. It's depressing. Yuck.
But the weightloss thing has to happen, guys. I can't stand looking in the mirror anymore, and the very idea of buying new clothes to fit this body depresses me. And my old clothes are starting to wear out. Seriously. Also even though I've always scoffed at the whole "low self-esteem" issue (my theory always was "suck it up and get over it"), I now understand it perfectly. My own crap self-esteem has been affecting my relationships with my kids, my husband, my friends ... pretty much everyone in my life. When I am feeling bad about myself I am less patient with my kids, and I definitely don't want to "get romantic" with my husband. As for friends, well ... that's another story (and a BIG part of my makeover process) altogether.
Seriously, I have to get a handle on this weight thing.
On to the Good News and Bad News.
GOOD NEWS: At my heaviest I weighed 193 pounds. Gulp. I hate saying that out loud, and I hate reading it. I can't really even believe I'm sharing it here. Ugh.
The good news is that I weighed myself this morning, and my scale smiled up at me and said 184!!! That's 9 pounds down!!! WOOHOO! I knew I had lost a few pounds, but NINE?!? I'm so stoked. I can't wait for next week's weigh-in because I desperately want to be able to say I've lost TEN POUNDS.
BAD NEWS: This isn't really BAD news per se, but ... I didn't really do anything to lose that weight. Seriously. Actually I did less. Well, I ate less at least. I cut out the "I'm bored snacks," and I have been watching my portions a little better. That's it.
Why is this "bad news"? Well because it kind of kills me to know that I could have been making these changes all along and could possibly not gotten so deep in this hole I've dug myself. When a simple change like not being a pig at meal time helps you lose nine pounds, well ... it really says something about how big of a pig you've been. Seriously. Oink-oink.
Anywho, the weight loss game plan for this week is this:
1. Exercise for 30 minutes at least 3 times. I like to dance so I'm going with just Dance on the Wii this week!
2. Continue with watching my portions and not snacking as much.
3. Prayer. Yep, I've decided that along with my own efforts, I need to give this transformation up to God. This isn't a "Please, God, make me skinny wish." It's more along the lines of "Please, God, help me be healthy and whole."
There you have it. That's the plan. I'll be posting a "How I Did This Week" type thing on Friday just to keep up with my own (fingers crossed) progress.
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