Mom Guilt and Self Esteem

I spent all weekend finishing up Halloween costumes.  Sydney's was fairly easy. She asked to wear her dad's Grim Reaper Costume from last year.  All I had to do was re-size it, which was fairly simple.  Then we added some creepy make-up, and she was done.

Alli was a Little Red Riding Hood.  I sewed a red hooded cape from a simple pattern and a pillowcase dress from an ehow.com tutorial.  Then I added leftover lace to a pair of white leggings for makeshift pantaloons and leftover red check fabric to an old easter basket repainted black for a super cute treat basket.

Aubrey decided to be the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland, the most ambitious of all three costumes.  I bought the pattern a few weeks ago, and instantly knew I was in over my head. Luckily, I got to skip making the dress (found a white sundress on a sale rack that worked well), but the red and black jacket had to be homemade.  Waiting until the last minute, I of course hit every obstacle (including breaking SEVEN sewing machine needles and therefore having to literally HAND SEW the whole thing).  We made a crown out of glittery gold paper and added some crazy make-up to her face as well.

What do you think?

What has this got to do with mom guilt?

I felt guilty all night!  Alli's costume could have used some sequins. Aubrey's costume was a little small (and she looked cold!). I wanted Sydney's face to be a lighter gray, but I ran out of white face paint to mix it.  Even though we got lots of compliments on the costumes, I still felt like I could have - and more over SHOULD have - done more!

WHY?

The kids had a blast and loved their costumes. Why can't I be as happy about them as they were?  Why do I always feel that as a mom I am falling behind?  Why don't I ever feel like I'm doing enough?

I see other mom's doing things for there kids, sometimes more than me and sometimes less, but I never fault them for what they do. In fact, I always feel a little jealous of them.  Wish I had thought of that! Wish I had taken more pictures! Wish I knew how to do that?

I have read a few articles about Mother's Guilt. Some say it's healthy and can show you where you may need to address things in your life. Others say that you should set boundaries on the things your provide your kids with (like Halloween costumes...lol) and not allow your self to feel guilty for not exceeding those boundaries.  I'm not sure about either idea.  I don't think guilt is paticlarly "healthy" since it literally keep sme up at night and is tied to my self esteem (which as I've discussed has already taken a hit lately), but I also don't understand how you can just tell yourself, "Okay! Don't feel guilty!" and then just ... NOT. 

I don't know. I guess my saving grace is that Halloween is over. Once I pack up the costumes, I won't need to think about what more I could have done.  (I'll just find something I could do better in November ...lol)